dreams

10/29/20

Last night I dreamed of running away with someone. I dreamed about Tristan and staying at his place but there being a drunk older guy there. He wouldn't leave me alone with him because he knew he'd try to rape me. 

We travelled through tunnels to escape. I pretended to be in a spa. I think it was Emily & I together. Eventually we were homeless and it became clear that we were together. 

Then I drempt that I got someone else's burger and I had to go back to pay for the sauce. I asked for Melanie but a group of people came out and they were all interrorgating me. 

Then I was back at moms house and she was with this news guy. I was upset and thought I was going crazy. I started yelling at this man and telling him he wasn't my step dad and couldn't tell me what to do. Mom kept avoiding talking to me. Finally I tricked her into talking to me. I convinced her that I was having a meltdown but that I could still see how she was treating me. I brought up 2011. She admitted she also was depressed. Then we decided to go to the hospital together but mom said she wanted to get sobered up from what she had been taking first. It was spice. I apologized to the man. 

Synch Town

10/21/2020

Jaysen sent me Dane Cook comedy compilation & later that night the Community show I was watching mentioned Dane Cook

10/27/2020

Last night I was talking to my brother about this movie called What the Bleep Do We Know? I also talked about how I identified my depression as a subconscious desire for attention. 

So I decided to watch this documentary that is about the sex cult Nexium. It's called the Vow on HBO max.  It turns out the guy who brought everything to light was in the cult before he realized what it was and he was the one who wrote What The Bleep Do We Know? 

Then the very next scene was a girl talking about how she realized her illness was due to her having an underlying desire for attention.

10/29/2020

Yesterday I was watching songs on YouTube of phantom of the opera and tonight while watching community a random scene where the main guy is drinking he rips his mask off and he is wearing the phantom of the opera mask. 

11/8/20

I said that if I had a daughter I'd name her Lilly for Lilith and the movie we are watching tonight has Lilith's symbol on it

11/8/20

My brother and mom was talking about Al Gore and Clinton and the movie mentioned it

11/9/20

I was with Jaysen the day before and said I wanted ice cream then 5 mins later the ice cream truck pulled up & we got some together. The ice cream man even said it was the law of attraction. I'm watching I Feel Pretty tonight & after the girl has sex she runs up to the window naked & says she thinks she sees the ice cream truck. It is an ambulance but then a few mins later the ice cream truck shows up!  The guy asks how she does it and she says that at one point she started believing that all of her dreams could come true

11/9/20

Mentioned the Maine coon cat to Jaysen yesterday and one just showed up as a play on my Facebook page 

jaysen worries

I worry about Jaysen not drinking water 

And being tired 

Consent

Unless it's an enthusiastic yes, it's no. 

goals

Short do-able dreams.

Write out fantasies & romances 

Synch Town

Mayhem - 

Sometimes it takes a deadly virus to paint your own path. 

What if the synchs are echoes? Mirrors rippling across the multiverse. This is also how the law of attraction works. 

Nature, it doesn't hold to our morals, to our purposes or meaning.