my shadow

As you know my dad is into BDSM & RECOVERY 

Samuel admit I was right & you were wrong. 

My shadow - 

Attention seeking 

Being petty 

Being pretentious 

Taking myself too seriously 

Being a drama queen 

Being self centered 

Unfriendly 

Liking myself 

Being intelligent 

I didn't like Jaysen saying Nathan was gay. He really might just seem that way but he isn't really. 

gender

My physical body is female

But my soul is both and not at all the two genders. 

I'm an inter dimensional being, ever change or subject to change. 

My core values are love, joy & freedom. 

I connect with Aliens & Faeries 

I still like talking to the Gods & Goddesses of old

I am a HSP

I am an addict

I love Jaysen & know he's a good guy 

I want to make Jaysen happy

I want to care. 

I thought that feeling was caring. That I was a caring person because I felt everything. But that is not true. My sensitivity doesn't dictate my actions, only I do that. Only I can choose to express my feelings or not. I have hidden my true self because she is too full & takes up too much space. She isn't politically correct. She doesn't adhere to social norms. She talks to much, she's intense. She isn't everyone's cup of tea. 

Highly Sensitive

We are Highly Sensitive People

We exist in everyday people, too. Not just your celebrities, psychopaths and world leaders. We are your artists, bakers, musicians, spiritual leaders. We live down the block and we are someone's daughter, son or child. We went to grade school just like you. 

We had crushes and got rejected. We played silly pranks with our best friends.

We are called chatterboxes but we're the one's giving a speech.

We are called out of touch with reality but we're the one's blowing your mind with our art or our music. Because somehow it speaks to you in a way that you can just feel. It's as if it were written for you. Yes, that is called a good artist, musician or chef. That's where style and beauty saves. A highly sensitive person is beautiful. 

What is balance for me, might look very unbalanced to you. 

ATTN seeking

I am attention seeking

Character defect 

Dishonest

Self seeking 

Deceptive 

Narcisstic 

Anxiety 

Depression

Self medicating

Help Jaysen understand addiction 

Use holding in a shit 

Help Jaysen understand about weight issues 

Work on Steps 

Writing 

HSP, show Jaysen documentary. 

Sex? Was having sex anyway a relapse? 

Trauma 

Mom getting attacked by doc

Sexual purity and love 

Physical touch being my love language. 

Feel my feelings 

Even the painful ones. 

Serious daddy issues. 

Trouble with authority, the usual 

The pot helps me relax

Helps with anxiety 

Makes me able to problem solve better

Everything isn't overwhelming

I'm still traumatized about what happened to mom at the doctors office. I am angry. I blame myself. Now she isn't seeing any doctor because of me. I've been neglectful of her. 

jellie

Weight convos suck. 

I like physical affection. 

How do you really feel? 

Physical touch is my love language. 

Also it is good aftercare for me. 

proposal

We build a mini home for me on this plot of land. Either mom or dads. 

Quite frankly, being an artist doesn't make much money. Until I figure out how to make more money, which will take longer since I'm walking a more rare path...I'd like to know I have a place to live so long as I pay the rent every month. 

Whether that be a room at mom's house, a tini home on her land or a tent on dad's land. 

Pray about it, think about it. 

I understand that would put you in a different position.