Touch Starved

Sex has been a place for me to have physical touch. That's why it helped me so much when I received touch that was gentle (Cesar). My libido prefers crazy and hard. But my heart desires soft and gentle. 

I want physical touch from other avenues. From friends, family, everything. I get that from family. I am touch starved. 

Beauty, it is everything to me. I rarely find others who feel the same way in the way that I do. Charis was the closest but not as sad. Towanda is closer with sadness but too sad. Mom is the absolute closest but she is more grounded than I am. Parker, yes, parker was perfect. Pure magic when I was with him. His presence was freedom. Maverick, same thing. 

Kindness, it's so hard to find those who truly believe in this as men. And I am not drawn to it in a man. Or I have yet to find one who is truly kind.